Danglemonk with his knitted Christmas Stocking

Christmas cracker time:

Q: Why are Christmas trees like people that can’t knit?

A: They both drop their needles…

Well, thank goodness that is all over…  It will still be Christmas Monkey Towers for a few days yet, and hopefully I’ll get to enjoy the last few days of the year as I have spent the whole of my birthday and Christmas period with a horrible, horrible cold (can I call it ‘flu?  It hasn’t been formally identified as such, but I fell ill on the 18th, and eleven days of fever and aching misery deserves my deepest distain.  Still, it’s Christmas, and that makes things a tad better.

For one thing, I am in receipt of knitterly things.

I got the most gorgeous skein of hand-dyed yarn for a get well gift after my operation, which I opened on my birthday.  More on that tomorrow, hopefully, as I have not yet mustered the energy to put my camera to action.  From some non-knitterly friends I also received two hand-knit Monkey finger puppets and a crocheted Christmas pudding hat which is possibly the finest hat ever produced (again, I shall have to try and get proper pictures tomorrow).

Citrus Soak

Also, three or four months of careful hint-dropping and gentle reminder (“Yes, it’s called Soak. Citrus Soak.  yes, that’s right – the citrus one.  Soak. S-O-A-K.  Look, I’ll write it down…”) and quelle surprise! Look what was waiting under the tree from my thoughtful and intelligent other half!  Currently possessing sinuses that feel like that have been reconstructed out of melting marshmallows, I cannot indulge in my second favourite hobby of opening bottles of bath and laundry products to smell them, and as such the citrus aroma is still a stranger to me, but the presence of this bottle in the room is enough of a motivation for me to shake off my ‘flu-induced knitting drought and cast on something gorgeous and do my first bit of knitting in three weeks.

I shall now commence my plan to knit myself better!

1. I can’t get out to buy any
2. I thought it might be cheaper (or rather I wanted some quality for my money)
3. I thought that some folks might appreciate the thought
4. I am stuck in bed and a tad bored…

I’ve never really made greetings cards before, but it is exceedingly easy. Despite what QVC may want you to believe, you don’t need a whole room full of materials to make some rather nice cards.

Only 17 days to go, you know? Grab the glue stick!

These cards are made with a technique known as decoupage, which involves cutting and layering pieces of cardstock/heavy paper for a 3D effect.  It’s extremely easy to do and doesn’t require many materials, so I thought I would actually design a decoupage Christmas Card with a knitting(ish) theme to upload here for readers to download.  It feathers a cat wearing a santa hat, playing with a ball of wool:

Christmas card with a knitterly theme

All you need to make a decoupage christmas card is some plain white card, a printer, scissors, a glue stick and some sticky foam tabs (or silicon glue for 3D papercrafts if you happen to have any).  The process is simple:

Simply download the cat decoupage sheet at the end of this post and cut out shape 1.  This is the entire image of the cat, in his santa hat, with his ball of wool.  Next, cut out the four shapes next to the number ‘2′.  This is the cat’s head, two of his feet, and his ball of wool.  Place the foam tabs on the back of these four shapes and place them on top of the corresponding parts of the first image.  Now, some of your cat is only one layer high (such as the cats body and two back legs) whereas other parts of the image have been raised one step height.  Repeat this with steps 3 and 4 until you have a 3D image, waiting to be mounted on a card.

The decoupage sheet has enough shapes for two decoupage cats, and I have also included two separate downloadable sheets with backing paper designs on them in case anyone was in need of some backing papers.  One is a retro design and the other has the appearance of knitted fabric, to add to the fibre-crafts theme, but obviously these aren’t needed if you have your own patterned papers or some attractive gift-wrap.

Christmas decoupage sheet

retro backing paper and tags

knitted backing paper and tags

Click the image you wish to download to be taken to the free download space, but please bare in mind that these files are rather large so as to keep the image quality high, so they may take a moment to download.

Baby's first comedy Santa hat

I had no idea what I was going to make when I stared knitting this.  Made from the remnants of an un-ravelled hot water bottle cover that I was knitting earlier in the year I thought I could get away with knitting something for my 6 month old niece purely on the basis that it was pink, and a walk past Mothercare a few weeks ago seemed to suggest that pink was ‘in’ for baby girls, just like every other year…

I had very little yarn to make this with, but experience has taught me that babies tend to be smaller then other human beings, so I thought I could still squeeze a whole but very small project out of the tangled mass of candy floss yarn that I had gathered.  I settled on the idea of a pink santa hat, complete with loopy fringing and a magnificent loopy bobble:

You want to squeeze it, don't you? Oh, go on then...

It’s a simple hat, and made primarily for novelty purposes (I am hoping that my sister will be able to capture a few cute pictures over the Christmas period), but then maybe it isn’t too obviously a santa hat to be worn at other times.  That decision up to my rather picky sister.

Baby's 1st christmas

So, let’s see where I have got to on my Christmas to-do list…

Stupid list.

I did manage to get at least some knitting done in hospital over the weekend, though.  I feel quite pleased with myself for managing to knit a whole hat on each of Friday and Saturday evenings before running out of yarn.  I don’t know what yarns I actually used for the two hats as they were scraps left over from some long-forgotten projects, not all of them mine, but I am pleased with both of the finished items, considering I had only a very little yarn in various weights to work with.  I made a second Marram Hat for my mother’s husband in a natural/grey tweed type yarn and a second yarn in grey with a greenish hue, which I think may have been a mixture of cotton and wool.  Anyway, who knows what yarn it was?  It seems to have turned out OK and that’s the main thing:

Marram the second

With another handful of remnants I made a hat which I based upon Jared Flood’s ‘Turn a Square‘ hat. I say I ‘based it upon’ the pattern as I never actually had the pattern, which is silly as it is a free download, but I have never been one to adequately prepare for anything. I suppose I didn’t truly feel that I’d be up to knitting, but I have seen pictures of some finished projects and thought it was probably made with four lots of paired decreases so just knit away until I had something resembling a hat.  Again the yarns are shades of grey.  I am pretty sure that one of them is some Rowan Pure Wool Aran, but the other one with the long colour repeats could be anything.  I found it in a bag of remnants at a charity shop some time ago:

Hopefully these subtle stripes won't scare my brother away.

Next on the list is a hat for Annaleese, my niece of roughly six months (no, I have no idea how old she is – that’s terrible, isn’t it?).  I have actually already begun something for her, but the only yarn I had to hand was some remnants of a mystery pink yarn, and what I have knit currently resembles something from a government information poster for educating folks about safe sex, so I will post pictures if and when I can fix it to look more like a hat and less like a condom.

Knowing that I had this hospital stay approaching, I have been trying to get some more of my Christmas projects completed. I finally decided on a hot water bottle cover for my brother-in-law, and I decided that it should be a very Christmassy affair. Knit from a single skein of Louet Riverstone Chunky, I improvised the entire pattern. I don’t know how it came together, or what process of luck decided that it was going to fit, but somehow it did. Before felting in the washing machine, it was a truly colossal piece of knitting. I never had a camera to take a ‘before’ picture, so you’ll just have to believe me when I say it was huge.

Fortunately it felted to a perfect size for a standard hot water bottle, ready for decorating:

Christmas Shepherd Hot Water Bottle Cosy

Have fun knitting, everyone, and I hope to be back soon! In the meantime, please feel free to leave a comment, just to say hi, or to tell if you are busy with gift-knitting and if you think you are going to finish in time

Huh? 30 days? But, but… that can’t be! It’s even worse than that as I actually have an operation and subsequent hospital stay between now and the actual day of gift-giving. Oh, and of course I will have to allow time for Royal Mail to lose all of my gifts as my entire family are scattered throughout the isles. Oh, yes, and I’m supposed to be seeing one of my sister’s on Monday, and I am supposed to bring gifts, etc with me then… The same sister who, three days ago announced how much she and her other half would like a scarf each. That’s OK – I have a couple of newly knit scarves! Hurrah! Oh, but you want one in white and one in black? But I only have green and orange.

Well, I made Squoffle for my sister

There you go, a scarf in white. Well, cream. Don't be so picky.

Which was a quick and easy knit, so that’s one knitterly problem out of the way, but as for her partner…  I don’t have any black yarn, nor any money to buy any with, so  I’m a bit stuffed as far as that is concerned, so I will push it to the back of my mind and pretend that the problem isn’t there.  That always solves things.

Still. Looking at the tab I have organised my Christmas knitting under in Ravelry I haven’t done too badly.

Six down, only *mumblenumber* to go

The thing that worries me most, though, is that these projects are all for the women in the family, and I realise that I have so far totally neglected to knit for any of the men.  I’m going to try and knit a couple of hot water bottle covers to then felt for my brother and my brother-in-law, but as for my other sister’s boyfriend, I have no clue.  I am going to see if I can gather enough yarn to make a pair of fingerless mitts for my mother’s husband, something to complement her Yarr! Boney mittens, but with half-fingers perhaps, and without the beading (I don’t think he would be that ‘into’ beads).   I have no idea where I am goign to find the time or yarn for any of this from, but I shall just have to hope that an answer makes itself apparrent soon.

I found the pattern for Gwen Steege’s ‘Spa Set’ in the book 101 Luxury One-Skein Wonders – a fantastic depository of patterns for those short on ideas, time or money, and it just so happened that I was lacking in all three departments.

One of many quick and easy projects using only one skein

The yarn that the pattern called for had more meterage to the skein than a complete ball of Lenpur Linen would have done, and mine was part-used, so I didn’t know of I was going to have enough to complete the soap bag as well as the face-cloth, but I did in fact have plenty.  I knit the actual graphic design of the face-cloth and small drawstring bag slightly differently from the way that the pattern prescribed completely out of pre-considered design choice because I was too lazy to read the instructions properly, omitting the seed stitch rows that run throughout the pattern.  I made a few modifications to the bag as well – 10 rows of seed stitch were added to the open end of the bag, and a row of eyelets allowed for a thicker, three stitch i-cord to be threaded through a lot more comfortably.

Yes, the design differences were entirely intentional *cough*

Though I cannot imagine ever knitting such an item for myself, I think it gives a nice spin on the tradition of luxury bathing goods (or ’smellies’ as they are known in my family) as Christmas gifts, and not being too extravagant or showy I think it will make a nice gift for my brother’s girlfriend in a couple of months.  I’m currently revelling in the fact that I have added to my completed gifts list.  I think it is only right to celebrate by knitting something gorgeous for me.

If you knit gifts for friends and family to be given during the festive period there is a good chance that your mind will currently be filled with a swirling mass of ideas for presents, but maybe also a nagging nervousness. Will your brother like the novelty jumper with the complicated intarsia motif you have planned for him? Will Auntie Nell appreciate and care for the shawl you have spent weeks diligently knitting? Do your family and friends deserve your hand-knits?

Yeah, er... thanks

There is an ever-more vocal group of  ’selfish knitters’ (this is not a slur, it is often the title that they give themselves), who think that the best person to knit gifts for is yourself.  Maybe only you (and perhaps other knitters) can understand the effort and value of a hand-knitted gift.  The time spent not only knitting, but planning and gathering, creating and perfecting.  Maybe only somebody that knits can understand the worth of a hand-knit. I say good on them! If you enjoy knitting for yourself alone, then wrap yourself in your squishy hand-knits and enjoy every moment.

On the ever-lively Ravelry boards I regularly read threads started by distressed and angry knitters, decrying that the recipient of their lovingly created gift was disliking of their new knit, or (and this might even be worse), that the recipient was totally nonplussed.  Knitting allies, supportive of the gift-giver and their art, will declare the gift recipient unworthy of future hand-knits, and then often indulge in a strange ritual by which they will weigh and measure the worth of a hand-knitted gift.  ”She clearly doesn’t understand how long it takes to knit a _____, she doesn’t understand its worth.  If you value your time at £___ per hour, multiplied by ___ hours, plus the cost of materials…”  Wait, wait, wait…  That’s not a gift, that’s calculating wages.

I tend not to think in these terms.  An average pair of socks might cost me £8 in materials, and take me 10-20 hours to knit but I do not measure a knitted gift’s worth by either criteria.  I enjoy knitting, otherwise I wouldn’t bother knitting gifts.  I wouldn’t bother knitting at all.  I would no more try to work out the cost of my knitting time than a model railway enthusiast might measure the worth of his miniature version of Didcot station by timing himself on how long it took him to arrange his plastic trees and replica grassy embankments.

I am grateful that any time I have given a knitted gift the recipient has been graceful and joyous in receipt (at least to my face, anyway), but I try not to get too hung up about it.  I also try to be sensible in what I give to people, and who I knit for.  Much as I would love to knit my brothers a pair of socks each they are 16 years old and like video games and football (they also have size UK13 feet, and there isn’t enough time or yarn in the world) and I know that, really, they will be much more appreciative of something disc-shaped that fits inside an Xbox 360.

Designed to help friends and family take care of your hand knits

Here are some handy gift tags to help ensure that your hand-knits have a happy future when you give them as gifts. These small gift tags can be printed onto normal A4 white card and folded down the centre line. The front features a short message and a bright ball of yarn and knitting needles (each sheet has four different colours, so there’s on to suit any recipient) and the reverse has a number of fields for you to fill in that will help the recipient of your gift to care for it for years to come. The inside can be left blank for your own message or additional information, and there’s room for you to stitch a spare button to the inside of the card if you have used any on your knitted item, so that spare button and care instructions can always be found together.

You can view and download the file here to save to your desktop and print any time you want to give the gift of a hand-knit. I plan to make a set for crocheted items and also some more Christmassy-themed ones, soon.

The brevity of this post is due to me having caught the ‘flu.  Please send virtual Lemsips.

^{PS: my apologies to anyone who has had trouble getting the download to work in past months – the download location seemed to be temperamental and intermittent, but it should be working fine, now.}

• Start by knitting round 1 of the chart just once  (this is the set-up round).
• Knit rounds 2-7 as many times as you wish to have layers of branches (I have chosen to do six rounds of branches for the tall trees of Edward’s Socks).
• Knit round eight as many times as you wish until the ‘trunk’ of the tree is the length you desire.
• Knit rows 9-11 three or four times to give an indication of the ground.

click to view in new window

It is worth baring in mind that this chart was designed in the round for the pair of top-down socks that I am knitting, so if you are knitting socks from the toe up, or something else that is knitted from the base upwards, this tree will be upside down. I believe that you may be able to simply turn the chart upside-down and successfully knit it that way, but I haven’t actually tested this so don’t hold me to account if I am mistaken. I’d give it a quick swatch but I only have my needles with the socks on at the moment and no spares, but if anyone gives it a go before I am able to do so myself please drop me a line and I’ll post the results.